A Shattered Life
by The Smell Of Summer
Summary: She was happy. She had almost everything a girl could want. Then one thing happened and it all shattered.
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or any of these characters, cause if I did, I wouldn't be writing this.

A/N: This story takes place before Twenty-One Is The Loneliest Number so that episode and everything after it hasn't happened. Sad I know. Also, this story takes place from Rory's point of view for the most part, but I may switch it and write in third person a little. So I hope you enjoy and don't forget to review because I'll love you forever if you do!

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It was only a matter of time until it happened. I should've seen it coming.

It's the pattern of my life, everything is good and then it shatters. Once I get my life on track, something throws it off course. It's happened again and again. I dated Dean and then we broke up. I got back together with Dean but then we broke up again. I was with Jess but he left me without a word. I was doing well at Yale and then Jess came back, and told me he loved me. I finished my first year at Yale and my mom opened her in, but then I slept with Dean, causing his marriage to shatter. After Dean and Lindsay split Dean and I were together _again, _but then my grandparents interfered and we broke up _again_. I met Logan and finally snagged him, but he family said I wasn't good enough. Then his dad gave me an internship at one of his newspapers only to tell me I wasn't good enough. Then I stole a boat, dropped out of Yale, severed ties with my mom, and moved into my grandparent's pool house. And that's where I am now.

This time I really thought it was going to stick though. I mean, I had everything under control. I joined the DAR, Logan and I were happily together, I was almost done with my community service. Okay, sure I wasn't totally happy but I wasn't unhappy. I had everything in my life organized and then it happened. I couldn't control it no matter what anyone thought. Nothing could've prepared me for what happened. None of the books I've read, or movies I've watch, or any music I've listened to. Its one thing when its someone else, but when it happens to you, its impossible to know what to do. Sometimes you just can't control these things.

I guess what they say is true...nothing gold can stay.


	2. Preparation

A/N: I forgot to say that the entry before was where she is at now, and these are going to be what's leading up to there, and I may go a bit after that.  
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I was sitting in the pool house reading Cosmo. I didn't really read books anymore, Logan told me that I shouldn't waste my time with them. I really think Logan was just a bit jealous because I read more than him and had more knowledge.

Tonight Logan and I were going to a party in New York. Actually, Logan was kind of the host of the party and I, being his girlfriend, was the hostess, even though neither he nor I planned it. It was something that his father put together for one of his newspapers. It had something to do with some new literary works or something like that. All I know was that it was a test for Logan, to see if he could handle being in this bussiness. To see if he could charm everyone the way he had charmed me. This party decided his whole future, and although Logan didn't want to work for his dad, he did not want to screw this night up.

All week I had listened to Logan talk about how important this was, and how everything had to be perfect. Everything was about Logan, it seemed. He was all he talked about, he was all my grandparents talked about, and there was a reason for that. He was special. He was perfect, he had good breeding and an okay personality and good looks. I do admit he was quite a catch.

I had everything all set for tonight. Logan told me exactly what to do. He instructed me to wear my light blue dress, curl my hair, wear light pink lipstick, and masacara. I'm sure some people find this a bit controlling, but I didn't mind, I mean it was Logan's big night, right? He wanted everything to be perfect and he deserved because he was perfect. The least I could do was listen to him.

So while I was reading the magazine, I can to an article about a mother and daughter. I read the first paragraph and could feel myself starting to tear up, so I got in the shower. After I got out I set the curlers and got out my outfit. I had just started to curl my hair when the telephone rang. I figured it was just my grandmother so I let it rang and finished getting ready.

I had just finished when I heard vicious knocking on the door so I caustiously went to open. The door opened to reveal an angry Logan standing there, breathing heavily.

"I tried to call you!" He yelled pushing past me into the pool house.

"Sorry." I said, looking at the floor, "I was getting ready."

"Yeah well, you look great Ace. Sorry for yelling, its just I want this whole night to be perfect." He was speaking quickly and a ran a hand through his hair, "But really Ace. You look great." He leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss.

"You clean up pretty nicely yourself."

"So, should we get going? I still have a few last minutes things to do." He push his hand on the small of my back and ushered me out to the car. Out the to the night that started it all. 


	3. Oh, those puppet strings

Disclaimer: Woohoo! Disclaimer time. I think these are actually kind of fun. Anyways, I don't own Girlmore Girls or The Clash. Although I wish I did. Imagine owning Joe Strummer...

A/N: I'm very happy people. I really like this story. I'm not sure if I'm going to end it when it gets to where the prolouge was, or if to do a sequel. We'll see when the time comes. Don't forget to review. If you do I'll be your bestest friend! Also, I did break up Rory's point of view into a little third person point of view thing and its marked by the s.

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I was sitting in the passenger's seat of Logan's car. He was driving like a mad man. I think he may have had a drink or two, because he had this crazy look in his eyes. Maybe he was just worried about tonight. Me, I wasjust glad that soon this night would be over. Logan looked at me. I was sitting there playing with my hands, singing along with The Clash Cd I had put in his Cd player.

_You can crush us  
You can bruise us  
But you'll have to answer to  
Oh, the guns of Brixton_

"Ace! Ace!" Logan was trying to get my attention, but I was too wrapped up in the song. This song transported me back to a time when everything was simpler, back when my biggest problems were Dean's jealousy and Paris' craziness.

_The money feels good  
And your life you like it well  
But surely your time will come  
As in heaven, as in hell_

"RORY!" Logan yelled pulling the car to a stop and making it screech.

"Yeah?" I asked, snapping out of my trance.

"Listen I want to go over some rules for tonight."

"Rules?" I was confused. Rules? What rules?

"Yeah, just some stuff to remember for tonight."

I sat there and listened as Logan listened his rules.

**Logan's Rules for Fancy Parties:**  
**1. No leaving his side unless it is to go to the washroom.  
2. No making any references or quoting anyone or anything.  
3. No holding his hand, I could only put my hand on his arm.  
4. No arguing with anyone.  
5. No talking about books, movies, or music.  
6. Only speak unless spoken to.**

There were a few others but I don't really remember. I do remember being mad though.In fact, when I think about it now it still makes memad.How could he justtell me how to act? He just wanted me to sit there like some dummy and smile at everyone. I was just a trophy girlfriend, nothing more. My mom had once told me her parents were the puppet masters, but she was wrong, Logan was.

---

When we got there, Logan was rushing around making sure everything was just right. I took the time to look around and I saw a sign saying what this actually was. It was a party to honor some new authors of books they were trying to promote. There would be very influential people from the literary world there and hopefully the new authors would meet them, charm them, and get their approval, insuring their success.

After wandering around the hall for a bit I realized that the guests would soon be arriving. I went to the washroom to go make sure I looked okay. I was actually nervous about this evening now. All these authors and critics would be here. I would be surrounded by people that had a job I would love to have. What would they think of me? What if they didn't like me? What if I made a fool of myself? I remember I was so nervous I almost puked.

A bunch of people had already arrived by the time I left the washroom. Logan came up to me the second I got out there and grabbed my arm. "Where were you? People are here! You have to come greet them with me!"

"Sorry, I was in the washroom." I feebly replyed, letting him drag me over to the enterance so I could greet people as they came in. I plastered a smile on and resumed my role as the perfect trophy girlfriend.

There was a lull in the streaming in of people and it gave me a chance to look around and see all the people that were there. I looked over to the window and my breath got caught in my throat. That's when I saw him.

He was staring out the window like he didn't want to be here, and he probably didn't. I didn't know why he was there, only that he was. He was in his leather jacket, as always, only he had on a nice pants, a dress shirt and a tie under it. It looked kind of odd. It was like he was trying to rebel, by wearing the leather jacket and refusing to take it off. I laughed because he was so out of place.

After staring for a few minutes, I walked over to him just as more people started to come in, I had officially broken the #1 rule of Logan's. I could feel Logan staring daggers at my back, trying to burn a hole in it, but I didn't care. I wasn't thinking about Logan.

Logan knew there was something special about Rory, he knew she was different from other girls, but he didn't care. In fact, he hadstarted to resent her because of it. She was smart, pretty, funny, well read, and strong.

He was kind of glad when she dropped out of Yale, and he didn't push her going back. When she dropped out he was relieved, he didn't have to worry about her doing better than him. Achieving more.When Rory was at Yale, she had so many options in life, and he hated her for it. Rory could do anything shewanted to and he couldn't or rather, wouldn't. He wasto afraid of disobeying his parents. He wasafraid they'd cut him off, disown him.Then his name wouldn't make people tremble and succumb to him, he loved power, heloved being in control.

He was there when Rory was weak, he molded the new Rory. He told her what to do, what to wear, how to act, and yet she still wasn't good enough for him. Or rather, she was to good for him. He wasn't sure, but he wasn't ready to break it off with her yet. Rory was his way of proving that he could have just one girlfriend. Sure there were nights when he flirted with girls at bars when Rory wasn't there, but he always stopped himself from going to far, and it drove him crazy. Logan Huntzberger did not like sleeping alone, yet Rory was his way of rebelling. His was of proving to his parents he didn't need their approval of who he dated.

Rory, on the other hand just wanted to please everyone. She just wanted everyone to be happy. Including Logan, including her grandparents, and even including his parents. That's why she let him change her. The other Rory would've resisted, would've dumped him, but the new Rory, was scared and alone. She didn't have her mother anymore, so who else could she turn to besides Logan? Without him, she had no one. So she did what he said, did what her grandparents said. Her grandparents had attached her puppet strings to her, but when they found out about her and Logan, they handed the strings to him. Put him in charge. The strings grew, and Logan became more in control of Rory's life with everyday. He was the puppet master and they both knew it.

I went up behind him, unsure of what to say. Last time I had seen him he asked me to run away with him. We hadn't spoken since then, but as I got closer I realized I missed him. Jess was probably the only person that didn't know what had happened these past few months and I missed him. He used to be my one ofbest friends.

He sensed someone behind him, but before it registered I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He was about to speakbut I interrupted him, "Hey Jess. It's been a while."


	4. Breaking Logan's Rules

Disclaimer: How I wish I owned Jess, or Gilmore Girls, sadly I own neither. But I own Alan and Gary. How special am I?

A/N: I suppose this story is a bit of an AU, isn't it? Well at least Logan's character is different if nothing else. You'll see why soon enough. Also I'm aware that I said imagine owning Joe Strummer in my last disclaimer, and after I had put that chapter up I was like, "Oi! Joe's dead." Anyways, I didn't mean Joe's dead body, but maybe like his jacket, like Lorelai has. Oh, I was so jealous when she got Joe Strummer's jacket...

"Hey Jess. It's been a while."

In the back of my mind I was aware _I had just broken Logan's sixth rule_. Oh, well I already broke two so far, it doesn't matter about the rest now does it?

Jess looked a bit surprised. Like he couldn't imagine why I was there. Then again, I had no clue why he was there either.

"Rory, hey." He ran his hand threw his hair and tried to look nonchalant.

"So Jess, what are you doing here?"

"I suppose I could ask you same thing, couldn't I?" He replied, not unkindly. It was so weird to see him again. Last time I saw him, I thought it would be the last time, except for maybe Mom and Luke's wedding, if I was even invited.

"Oh, yeah, well, my boyfriend is kind of in charge of the whole thing." I blushed slightly as I tripped over the word boyfriend.

"You're dating Mitchum Huntzberger's son?"

"Yeah, his name is Logan. We met at Yale."

Jess nodded, and thought a second before speaking again. "Is he as big of a jerk as his father?" He paused, looking at my questioning reaction, before speaking again. "I'm sorry, that was out of line. It's just that... I met Mitchum for about 2 seconds and he managed to piss me off about 5 times."

"Mitchum's not the friendliest guy," I agreed, "but you still haven't told me why you're here."

"About that. Actually I -" Jess started but he was cut off by an angry Logan that had appeared beside me.

"Rory, there you are. I thought I lost you. What did I say about leaving? What were you thinking?" He kept scolding me, talking to me like I was a two years old. After about 3 minutes he realized Jess was there. He straightened up and smiled at Jess. "Sorry, I didn't see you there. Hi," He held to his hand, which Jess ignored, "I'm Logan Huntzberger, what's your name?"

"Jess."

"_You're_ Jess Mariano? Well I'm glad to meet you, and I see you've already met my girlfriend Rory Gilmore. Rory, Jess is one of the authors we're honoring tonight. Personally I think his book was the best one out of all the ones we're promoting tonight."

"You wrote a book!" My eyes lit up and I beamed at Jess, shaking off the feelings of anger I had built up at Logan for talking to me in that condescending tone of his, especially in front of Jess.

"Actually_ Logan_," Jess spit out his name, "Rory and I go way back. We've known each other since we were 17."

"He's Luke's nephew." I smiled, thinking of Luke's coffee and how much I missed it. "We used to date."

When I added that I saw Logan stiffen and his smile faded a bit. "Well, isn't that nice." He said, and I could tell he was angry. I tried to hold his hand, but he turned, and started to leave, "It's time to eat. Nice meeting you Jess. Let's go Rory."

I faced Jess and gave him a sorry-but-what-can-I-do? look and went to catch up with Logan. As I was leaving Jess I could've sworn I heard him mumble something that sounded like, "He's an even bigger ass than his dad."

---

It turned out Jess was sitting at our table. Directly on the other side of me to be exact. There was also two other authors, two men who looked like they'd never bathed in their lives and spent all their time playing video games.

Logan didn't seem to be too thrilled with the people we had to sit with, but it would've been rude not to try and make some conversation with them.

"So Alan," Logan said, addressing one of the geeky guys, "you and Gary wrote a science fiction book?"

"Why yes we did," Alan pushed his glasses up on his nose and sat up straighter. "It's about..." Alan kept talking but I tuned him out. I had never been a huge fan of science fiction novels, no offense to Alan and Gary, because it's still amazing that they wrote a book.

"How surprising." Jess mumbled under his breath sarcastically, earning a death glare from Logan. I covered my mouth and pretended to cough to keep from laughing.

I turned to Jess. "I really want to read your book. Is there anywhere I can get it?" He nodded and wrote down the address of a bookstore just a few blocks down the street from the hotel Logan and I were going to stay in tonight. While Logan continued to chatter with the two guys, Jess and I caught up a little bit. We had just started to compare and contrast Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when I felt a sharp elbow in my side.

_There goes rule 5._

Drinks had appeared at the table and I noticed I was the only person there that didn't have an alcoholic drink. Logan noticed it too and decided to try and joke about it.

"Rory's not old enough to drink yet. Maybe she should go sit at the kids table." Alan and Gary politely laughed and Jess looked like he was in pain.

"Oh, that's right Rory. Your birthday is in a couple of days isn't it?" I could tell he was just talking to me like that to get on Logan's nerves. He was using the same tone he used to use around Dean. It worked though. Logan's grip on his drink tightened so much that his knuckles were white. Jess continued talking though. "You and your mom have big plans for your 21st birthday, don't you? How is Lorelai these days?"

I feel silent and Jess realized that something what wrong. "What? Are you and Lorelai not talking?"

I took a big sip of my drink.

"Rory, why aren't you and your mom talking?" Jess questioned.

"That's enough." Logan said, obviously not wanting to talk about it either. I could tell right then though, that this night was going to get much worse. I had a sudden urge to sprint out of the room and far away, but I knew I couldn't.

"Well, if you can't tell me about Lorelai, at least tell me about Yale." He looked at me and I still didn't answer him. "You are still going to Yale, right?" There was a pause. "This is unbelievable."

"Rory, just ignore him." Logan instructed me.

"Calm down Geppetto, if you pull those puppet strings much harder they'll break."

"Are you calling me a puppet, Jess?" I turned to him, my voice turning cold. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gary nudge Alan and whisper something to him while looking at me and Jess. Jess shrugged and said quietly, "If the shoe fits..."

I was livid then. How dare Jess talk to me like that? It's not like he ever treated me that well either. "That's so easy for you to saw isn't it, Holden? Just run away when things aren't to your liking, that's your philosophy. Only, the thing is you were gone for more than a few days."

"Oh yeah Rory, because that's so original. Please. I left because there was nothing there for me. I had nowhere to go. Luke kicked me out, you know that."

"There was nothing there for you, huh? What about me?" I threw down my napkin and the next thing I knew I was leaning against the door of the girl's washroom, and Jess was there hugging me and apologizing. I wiped my eyes on Jess's shirt and he laughed. I looked at him and our eyes connect. There was a moment, when I think we were about to kiss but then Logan came.

"Listen Jess, I think I'd be best if you left now." Logan said, using this authoritative as Jess jumped away from me and we both tried to look innocent, although truly nothing happened.

Jess nodded and leaned over so that his mouth was right next to my ear and he whispered, "You know, I really didn't try out it was 22.8 miles just because I was bored."

I smiled as Jess walked away. Maybe this was the closure from him I needed.

---

The rest of the night passed by quickly enough, as it was very uneventful.

When Logan and I got back to the hotel he was drunk. He was more intoxicated than I had ever seen him before. And trust me; I had seen him highly intoxicated a few times before.

The second we walked into the room he pushed me away from him and I banged me side into a table. He started yelling at me. Telling me that I broke every single rule he gave me. Screaming that I made a fool of myself, of him. That I almost ruined the whole night. He asked me if I was having an affair with Jess and I told him no but he didn't believe me and he kept yelling, going on and on about how stupid I was and how ashamed of me. He sounded much like my grandmother does when she's yelling at my mom.

I kept apologizing and trying to calm him down. As I went to give him a kiss he did the unthinkable. He hit me.


	5. Some books and some yelling

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. Enough said.

A/N: I feel bad for making Logan such a jerk. Oh well, that's life. The italics are her anti-Logan thoughts. You'll see what I mean. Oh! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I love love love you all.

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I hugged my coat tight as I hurried down the street, glancing between the piece of paper in my hand and the street signs. Thoughts were racing through my mind so fast I could barely keep myself together. I was internally arguing with myself. What would I do about Logan?

_How could Logan hit me?_

It wasn't his fault. He was mad.

_Still, he should've never done that._

He was drunk.

_It was wrong._

It won't happen again.

_What if it does?_

He didn't mean to do it.

_So? He could still do it again._

He was sorry.

_It's wrong._

Who cares? Who else do you have left?

_I don't need him._

**Yes you do.**

I had reached the place. The guy was just closing up. It was a little past 11. He looked at me skeptically and turned to face me. "The store's closing. Besides, I don't think we'd have anything here that you'd be interested in."

This guy didn't know me. He just saw my dress and hair and makeup. He had absolutely no idea I'd been reading since I could walk. I'm probably better read than he was. "Please sir, I know that you have this book here. And I really need it."

"Why?"

"Just please." I couldn't explain why I needed the book so badly, but I did. I ached for the book. I longed to hold it and read it. It was something Jess wrote. He sat down and took the time to write it and think about it. It's amazing. I couldn't, and still can't believe he did it. I always knew he had it in him but I never expected him to actually write a book.

"How about you tell me the book, and I'll tell you if we have it?" He still didn't believe I was capable of reading anything other than Cosmo or Vogue.

"I'm looking for The Subsect. By Jess Mariano." I said proudly. I was so proud of Jess.

"The Subsect. Wow. Yeah, we have it. Come on in."

He unlocked the door and let me in. I practically ran to the M authors section.

There was his book. It was solid. And there was more than one copy of it! I couldn't believe it. More people would see this book here would find it, touch it, read it. It was amazing.

I took one copy of the shelf and opened it. The dedication page. My heart skipped a beat hoping that he would dedicate it to me.

To my Uncle Luke. Who taught me what family really means and tried to help me. I'll never fully appreciate how much you did for me, even though I didn't realize it at the time. I'm sorry for any mean thing I've ever said to you.

My eyes had welled with tears of happiness and I grabbed another copy off the shelf. There were still some more, so I grabbed those too. I smiled as I came up with an idea. Besides, all the money would go to Jess, and they could always order some more. In fact, I figured that the more copies that were bought, the more they would make.

I carried all seven copies up to the front.

"Are you buying all the copies?" The guy asked, surprised.

I nodded, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"Why?" He questioned, confused

"I know some other people that would want to read this."

I handed him the money and thanked him and left. Then I headed back to the hotel.

---

The next morning Logan and I were in his car on the way back to Hartford. We were about ten minutes away from my grandparents' house and I was reading Jess's book.

"What is it with you and that book?" Logan inquired, glancing at me and then back at the road.

"What do you mean?" I closed the book and clutched it to my chest.

"You haven't put it down all day. And I think you fell asleep holding it."

"It's just a really good book." I replied innocently.

"Is it what's his name... Jess. Is it Jess's book?"

"Yes, as a matter of a fact it is."

"Figures," Logan mumbled, under his breath.

"You sound jealous." I looked at Logan and he rolled his eyes. "You are! You're jealous of Jess because he wrote a book and he's doing something with his life and you're just you dad's lapdog. He's doing what he wants to with his life and you're stuck on the conveyor belt."

"That is not true."

"Yes it is. I can tell. Just look at you. You're jealous because Jess is everything you wish you were."

"Get out of my car."

"What?"

"Get out of my car!" Logan slammed on the brakes and turned to me. "If you're going to talk to me like that I want you out of my car." I sat there stunned and he pushed me into the door. "Go!"

I opened the door and stepped outside. "This is it Logan. It's over. I've put up with you and your childish antics long enough and now we're through!" I slammed the door and started walking, holding my head up high even as Logan sped past me.

_I knew he would do it again._

---

It took me a while to get home. Gilmore girls aren't ones for exercise after all.

The second I stepped into my grandparent's house I was greeted with a loud and extremely unpleasantscreech.

"Lorelai Leigh Gilmore!"

"Yes Grandma?"

"Where have you been? You were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago!"

"Grandma, can we not do this now? I'm not in a very good mood."

"No Rory, we will do this right now. Why are you home so late? Why do you look all rumpled? Why didn't Logan drop you off? And for God's sake Rory, why are you clutching that book so tightly?"

"I just broke up with Logan, okay? Can we please just talk later?" I left the house and started to head out to the pool house, Grandma hot on my trail.

"Why did you and Logan break up? He was such a nice boy. He comes from a good family. I swear, you and your mother are impossible. If someone comes from high society you just can't date them. God forbid that you're Grandfather and I approve of someone. That's like the kiss of death. Oh no, you can't settle for someone who can provide you with what you need. You have to go find some ratty boy who will never make you happy. I can't believe you. You just couldn't stay with Logan, just like your mother couldn't stay with Christopher. She at least owed it to us considering we helped her out when she was pregnant. She just had to make a mistake and get pregnant then run off. I'm sure she'll be very proud of you for breaking up with Logan and refusing our lifestyle. I tried to help you. We've been kind enough to let you stay."

I spun around angrily and I could tell even the great Emily Gilmore looked slightly frightened by the fire in my eyes. "So I'm a mistake? I'm a failure? I'm sorry I broke up with Logan but it couldn't work out. Why not, you ask. He's so nice, he's such a good boy, you say. He hit me Grandma. He hit me! How's that for nice?" My voice filled with sarcasm and bitterness, "Oh, I'm sure you overreacting, you say. You could never imagine the great Logan Huntzberger doing something like that. How about I show you my bruises, huh? How about I show you the bruise from where he pushed me into a table? Or when he punched me in the arm? Or from when he kicked me out of his car? I'm sorry Grandma. I'm sorry I'm such a failure and I'll never be the perfect trophy wife like you. The wife that sits around, planning stupid parties and going to stupid meetings and joining stupid clubs. Well I'm leaving. I'm moving out and you won't ever have to deal with me burdening you ever again. Goodbye Emily."

I opened the sliding door to the pool house then slid it shut after me and locked it. I could hear Emily pounding on the door demanding that I opened it.

I ran around the room in frenzy, grabbing my stuff and packing it up. It didn't take me long before I had everything neatly packed. Solving all my mother's packing crises in the past definitely paid off.

I snuck out the back to the pool house and after about 7 trips I had all my things stuffed into my trunk and backseat and passenger's seat of my car.

The strings had snapped and I was free to go.


	6. Lost, Then Found

Disclaimer: If I owned Gilmore Girls, Logan would die a horrible death.

A/N: Pleaseeeeeeee review. Review please. It would make me happy. And the more reviews I get, the more writing I do. Oh, and this part is a lot more third person that about Rory.

* * *

It was about noon when I reached my destination. I pulled my car into the driveway and hugged my longtime friend. 

"Thank Lane, for letting me stay here."

"No problem Rory," Lane said, helping me carry my bags into her room. "So what happened? I mean, not that I don't like having you here, but why did you come here? Why not go to Lorelai's?"

"Well you know how Logan and I were going to that party, right?"

"Yeah," Lane nodded, plopping down on her bed as I sat on the floor.

"Guess who was there. Jess!"

"Why was Jess there?"

"He wrote a book!"

"Oh my God. Jess wrote a book. Wow. Have you read it?"

"Yeah actually, I have it with me if you want to read it. Anyways, Jess was there and he and I got into an argument and I broke all these stupid rules Logan gave me, then Logan and I went back to the hotel and he hit me." I paused and took in the shocked look on Lane's face. "So then the next day he was mad at me because I wouldn't put down Jess's book and I said he was jealous of Jess. Logan kicked me out of the car and I broke up with him and walked back to my grandparents' house where my grandmother proceeded to bombard me with questions and accusations until I finally just yelled at her and told her I was moving out."

"Wow."

"I know."

"But that still doesn't say why you didn't go back to Lorelai's. I'm sure she'd be happy that you left your grandmother's house."

"I don't want to go back to Mom until I have my life straightened out. I want to be back at Yale and have all my problems sorted out."

Lane nodded. "I have to get to work, but if you need anything just stop by."

"Thanks Lane. For anything."

"Anything for a friend." She replied, hugging me before rushing out the door.

---

Nobody noticed as I walked through the town, towards the bookstore. In fact, there was nobody around really. Although it was a Saturday afternoon so everyone probably had plans.

I slipped into the book store and saw Andrew and Kirk in the middle of a big argument.

"No Kirk I don't have any books on the history of dogs."

"But Lulu and I are thinking of getting a dog and I want to know all about them."

"I'm sorry Kirk, but you'll just have to look somewhere else."

"Fine!" Kirk brushed past me angrily muttering to himself.

Andrew turned and saw me standing in the doorway.

"Rory! I didn't know you were in town. Are you looking for anything specific today, or are you just browsing?"

"Actually Andrew, I'm not here for long, I just wanted to ask you a favor."

"Anything for my best customer."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

---

_Ring ring._

"Hello?"

_"Hello Lorelai."_

"Mom?"

_"Of course it's your mother, who else would it be?"_

"George Bush?"

_"Ha-ha, very funny Lorelai."_

"I live to entertain."

_"Listen Lorelai, I just wanted to say I hope your happy."_

"Why would I be happy?"

_"You know perfectly well why."_

"Uh no Mom, I really don't."

_"Rory moved out today. You really need to teach that girl of yours some manners."_

"Where did Rory go?"

_"How would I know? She didn't even say goodbye. She showed up at the house late, looking like a mess and said she'd just broken up with Logan. Naturally I asked why and she just turned and started yelling at me. Honestly, some of the things she said. I'm sure you'd be very happy if you had been there."_

"So you don't know where Rory went?"

_"I just said that. Goodness Lorelai, do you need to have your hearing checked."_

"So Rory is missing and your lecturing me on her manners and my hearing."

_"Well when you say it like that..."_

"Goodbye Mom."

_Click._

Emily sighed and hung up the phone, and Lorelai raced over to the diner.

---

"Luke! Luke!" Lorelai raced into the diner and jumped on one of the bar stools. "Rory's gone. My mother called and said Rory moved out and she doesn't know where she went."

"Calm down. Rory's a smart girl, I'm sure she's fine." Luke tried to calm Lorelai as he poured her a cup of coffee.

"I just saw Rory. She was at the bookstore and she was holding a large shopping bag. She looked fine to me."

"What Kirk?" Lorelai spun to face the man that she just realized she was sitting next to.

"She was at the bookstore."

The doorbell rang as the door opened and Lorelai looked over, hoping it was Rory, but it was Miss Patty. She came and sat down on the other side of Kirk.

"Hey Luke, you must be real proud of that nephew of yours."

"My nephew?" Luke asked, confused.

"Yeah, Jess." She replied as if stating the obvious.

"Why would I be proud of Jess?"

"Haven't you been by the bookstore today?"

"No why?"

"Well you might want to go see."

"Ceaser, I'll be right back." Luke headed out the door, wondering what kind of trouble Jess could cause when he wasn't even here. Lorelai jumped up and trailed after him calling, "Luke wait for me!"

---

"Huh." Luke had pushed his way to the front of the crowd and stood there dumbstruck.

"What, what?" Lorelai elbowed her way next to Luke. "Wow."

There was a big sign in the window of the bookstore with writing that Lorelai recognized as Rory's.

Book of the Month

The Subsect by Jess Mariano.

That's right! A book by one of Stars Hollow's own.

Get your copy today!

Under the sign was a copy of the book and next to the book was an index card with more of Rory's hand writing on it.

Dear People of Stars Hollow,

I really think you should read this book. If you want you can pretend Jess didn't write it, but you all should read it. It's an amazing book and I think you will like it.

Luke entered the store and walked over to Andrew.

"Hey Luke! Like the sign? It was all Rory's idea. She came in here with the book and asked me to do this. Jess was always one of my best customers and I figure that people will read it just out of curiosity so I figured why not?"

"Can I have a copy of it?"

"Yeah, Rory told me to set aside a copy for you. If anyone asks though, you requested this a while ago. I only had five other copies so I have a huge waiting list and have to place a big order." Andrew took the book he'd been saving for Luke from under the counter and gave it to him. Luke pulled out his wallet to pay, but Andrew refused to take it. "Rory already paid for your copy."

"There you are!" Lorelai entered the store and looped her arm through Luke's. "You disappeared from the crowd so fast it took me a while to realize where you went."

"Sorry."

"I forgive you." Lorelai gave him a kiss on the cheek. "So Jess wrote a book."

"Look's like it."

"Well, good for him."

"Yeah..."


	7. Birthday Plans

Disclaimer: If I owned Gilmore Girls the only mention of Logan would be well...none.

A/N: I'm **so sorry** for taking so long to post, but I'm really stuck on this story. I think this or the next one might be the last part, but I am going to make a sequel, **Pieces Mended**, so watch out for that. For the last part, I thought it would be better to be third person, and the bold is Lorelai (at home in Stars Hollow)

* * *

It was time to leave Lane's. I knew that sooner or later my mom would see the sign in Andrew's store and recognize my handwriting. I guessed it would be sooner rather than later, and knowing my mother she would come here looking for me.

It wasn't time to go home yet, I could feel it. Yes, I missed my mom a whole lot. More than anyone could know, but I still had some things to work out. I had to have everything back on track before I went home. I had to make her proud after disappointing her like that.

I left Lane a note, telling her I had to go. I hated leaving like that, but I had to get out of there.

Zach seemed to be happy that I was leaving. I don't think he's ever really liked sharing Lane with me, even though I've known her for more than twice as long as he's known her.

I had no idea where to go, there was only two hours before it was dark.

I drove away from Lane's apartment, away from Stars Hollow, away from the place I used to call home. When would I be able to come back again?

I got on the highway and started driving.

Where could I go?

Not to my grandparent's, not to Logan's apartment, not to Paris's apartment, or Yale, or Stars Hollow. Suddenly I got an idea. I quickly made a U-turn, and drove until it got completely dark.

---

I was staying at some cheap motel. I didn't know the name of it nor did I want to know the name of it.

I still had a day to kill before I could carry out my plan. I stayed in my room all day, not daring to go out, partly because I was afraid of what I might see in this place and partly because all the things from the past few months were catching up with me.

I sat on the bed with my notebook writing letters to everyone I knew, not suicide letters, but apology letters, confession letters. I wrote one to my mom, then to Lane, then to my mom again. After that I wrote one to Jess, Grandma, another one to my mom, Paris, and a final one to my mom.

I also wrote a note to Logan, but that was one of anger, not an apology letter.

As I was writing I realized that with every word I wrote a weight was being lifted off my shoulders. I could breathe a bit easier, I could think a bit clearer. Writing these letters had about 5 times the effect of any of my pro-con lists.

I finished all the letters and I took a deep breath. Finally, everything seemed to clear, I knew what I had todo to get everything back together. I reflected on the past few months and couldn't believe what I had done. I was shocked and appalled by my behavior, and I was going to everything I could to fix everything.

Thoroughly exhausted, I closed my notebook and fell into the deepest and best sleep I had had since the fight with my mother.

---

Luke stood there, staring at the book. It was the dinner rush, his busiest time of the day, yet he stood there staring at Jess's book, frozen to the spot.

Finally after Lane asked him if he was okay, he picked up the book and opened it, slowly turning the page.

He got to the dedication page and when he saw it he was completely surprised and very touched.

"Free coffee and desserts for everyone!" Luke yelled, as he moved from behind the counter and went back to work.

---

Today was the day, or rather tonight was the night.

Rory had reached her destination and was settling down in her room.

She felt bad for being here without her mother. They had always planned to come to Atlantic City together for Rory's twenty-first birthday, but seeing as how they weren't speaking the plans obviously weren't about to be carried out by the two of them together.

---

11:59

Rory made her way to the casino/bar of the place that she was staying at and ordered a martini

**Lorelai couldn't sleep. Being especially careful not to wake Luke, she headed down the stairs.**

12:00

Rory ordered a martini and sat down at the card table to play a game of 21.

**Lorelai walked into Rory's room and lay on Rory's bed.**

Rory hesitated for a moment, but then she heard her mother's voice in her head.

**"It's hard to believe that at exactly this time 21 years ago, I was giving birth to you."**

After giving a silent reply of "Here we go again." Rory looked the dealer in the eye and said, "Deal me in."

**Lorelai lay on the bed, reflecting on her relationship with Rory and how it had started falling apart in the last few years. She was just starting to give up hope when she heard Rory's voice in her head, groaning and saying, **"Here we go again." **Lorelai smiled and finally fell asleep.**

She (Rory) caught the eye of the guy next to her and said, "Hi, I'm Rory."

He smiled and stuck out his hand, "My name is Henry, nice to meet you."

Getting those 21 numbers would be easier than she thought.


End file.
